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Post "Dead Man Walking" Open Post
May. 1st, 2017 09:04 pm[If anyone wants a super-high, just came face-to-face to his mortality, and his worst memories and stuff, but now is all...y'know. High.]
The world kept coming in and out of focus, sound surging, rushing loud through his ears, every stupid step a spider took up the wall scratching inside his head. Then it retreated, and nothing was left, like what he'd expected, everything cold and distant and dark. A few heartbeats--or hours--and his skin warmed back up and he felt like he was floating on a cloud, sounds muted like when he and Miles used to snuggle under the blankets with a flashlight and comic books when they were supposed to be sleeping.
That memory made him smile a little, aided by the fact that he could hear Miles' voice. Maybe he was dead, because Miles sounded worried, and Miles wouldn't worry about him now. Charlotte, now...Charlotte had looked almost sad, which was probably ridiculous. She'd wanted him dead. They all did, and now they got their wish, and he was okay with that, except for the fact he wasn't burning, and shouldn't he be burning? And if not burning, then he should be...nothing, but he wasn't nothing, he was on a roller coaster and pretty sure he was going to be sick, but roller coasters had gone away with everything else and he'd never been sick on a ride a day in his life.
Maybe it was Hell, after all.
Rachel's voice, exasperated, before she tried to drown him by making him drink something convinced him that he was right. He was in Hell. That was okay, then. Except, really, he'd prefer burning to having to spend eternity with Rachel, but probably if he'd prefer it, then it wouldn't be Hell, and so, it made sense that she was here. Who else would be? And Miles' voice, far away, upset, like some tease of home, before retreating...well, yeah. Miles, there, but always out of reach. Seemed about right.
Charlie's voice was harder to reconcile, but then he was gone again, and when he was aware of things once again, he actually felt like his brain was trying to push through something impossible, but Miles was...calling his name. The light was too bright, but Miles was there, and...smiling. Clearly Bass was hallucinating. Could he stand? No. He was dead. Honestly, Miles. Stop being demanding when he's dead. Except he's still smiling, and maybe Bass isn't dead? Except he should be dead.
But Miles looks so happy, and Bass has missed that, and he mutters something inane, smiling back, and Miles almost laughs, and Charlie--Charlie's behind him and smiling, too, and maybe the priests were right that even last minute remorse and asking for forgiveness is enough to get it, and he's in heaven after all. But that can't be right, either, because he never found his son, and he can't die before he finds him, makes up for...he doesn't know, but Emma died and he needs to tell the kid, to see if there's anything Bass can do for him, to do something good in this world. It seems unlikely, and Miles still doesn't tell him, so not heaven after all, or even Heaven!Miles is also a dick who wants to keep his kid from him, even when he's smiling like he cares if Bass is dead or alive, and, really, all of it's just a little too much, and he's back on the roller coaster, feeling sick. He mutters something about there not being flames, that he would've preferred flames to roller coasters and Rachel, and then the blessed darkness comes again, as he passes back out mid-sentence.
The world kept coming in and out of focus, sound surging, rushing loud through his ears, every stupid step a spider took up the wall scratching inside his head. Then it retreated, and nothing was left, like what he'd expected, everything cold and distant and dark. A few heartbeats--or hours--and his skin warmed back up and he felt like he was floating on a cloud, sounds muted like when he and Miles used to snuggle under the blankets with a flashlight and comic books when they were supposed to be sleeping.
That memory made him smile a little, aided by the fact that he could hear Miles' voice. Maybe he was dead, because Miles sounded worried, and Miles wouldn't worry about him now. Charlotte, now...Charlotte had looked almost sad, which was probably ridiculous. She'd wanted him dead. They all did, and now they got their wish, and he was okay with that, except for the fact he wasn't burning, and shouldn't he be burning? And if not burning, then he should be...nothing, but he wasn't nothing, he was on a roller coaster and pretty sure he was going to be sick, but roller coasters had gone away with everything else and he'd never been sick on a ride a day in his life.
Maybe it was Hell, after all.
Rachel's voice, exasperated, before she tried to drown him by making him drink something convinced him that he was right. He was in Hell. That was okay, then. Except, really, he'd prefer burning to having to spend eternity with Rachel, but probably if he'd prefer it, then it wouldn't be Hell, and so, it made sense that she was here. Who else would be? And Miles' voice, far away, upset, like some tease of home, before retreating...well, yeah. Miles, there, but always out of reach. Seemed about right.
Charlie's voice was harder to reconcile, but then he was gone again, and when he was aware of things once again, he actually felt like his brain was trying to push through something impossible, but Miles was...calling his name. The light was too bright, but Miles was there, and...smiling. Clearly Bass was hallucinating. Could he stand? No. He was dead. Honestly, Miles. Stop being demanding when he's dead. Except he's still smiling, and maybe Bass isn't dead? Except he should be dead.
But Miles looks so happy, and Bass has missed that, and he mutters something inane, smiling back, and Miles almost laughs, and Charlie--Charlie's behind him and smiling, too, and maybe the priests were right that even last minute remorse and asking for forgiveness is enough to get it, and he's in heaven after all. But that can't be right, either, because he never found his son, and he can't die before he finds him, makes up for...he doesn't know, but Emma died and he needs to tell the kid, to see if there's anything Bass can do for him, to do something good in this world. It seems unlikely, and Miles still doesn't tell him, so not heaven after all, or even Heaven!Miles is also a dick who wants to keep his kid from him, even when he's smiling like he cares if Bass is dead or alive, and, really, all of it's just a little too much, and he's back on the roller coaster, feeling sick. He mutters something about there not being flames, that he would've preferred flames to roller coasters and Rachel, and then the blessed darkness comes again, as he passes back out mid-sentence.
